// looking away //

As a writer, I cherish a desire to lighten this  dark world a bit, through words strung together as well as I can. Whether that’s to enlighten someone’s mind or to lighten the burden of their heart, I take the command to be a ‘light in the world’ seriously when it comes to the task that I think God has set for my life. Not as seriously as I should, maybe- but it guides my growth, and encourages me to try harder, to write more, to be… less lazy. Ahem.

However, as I watch the world spiral, I often become jaded. It’s an undeniable reality that goodness and light are hard to find in this planet we call home. We writers have an embarrassment of riches when it comes to inspiration for all that is cruel, dark and twisted. In the face of it, happy little stories seem trite. Sure, ‘Love What Matters’ and other places highlighting the simple acts of goodness that everyday people are doing are wonderful. They are doing something very, very necessary, in my opinion. But when I zoom out and think about the big picture, it’s easy to brush them aside. It’s beautiful, what people do for good. But it doesn’t seem to stop the darkness.

C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien are two of my role models, as Christians, as people and of course, as authors. Their burden is my burden… it’s a beautiful thing to know our work is all united in its common cause. However, when I begin focusing on what I see around me, the interconnectedness of the devil’s web, I begin to doubt their calling and mine. Tolkien’s high fantasy, insisting on the prevalence of good at the end of every desperate struggle, begins to seem näive. Lewis’ claim that, in the heart of image-bearing man is a thirst for truth, rings hollow in my ears. Even Solomon and Paul, telling me in scripture that God has set understanding in man, that they may be without excuse for their willful ignorance and depravity, just crushes me a little lower.

What good am I in the face of this? What good are my words and ideas, made over from words and ideas people of God have been spinning since the beginning of time?

Ah, there it is. Even in the beginning it was light against dark. It was Noah against the world, building not a story but an ark. It was the prophets, crying out. It was my very Savior, telling parables to the people gather round him while knowing they would shout for his death before they ever understood his meaning. And on and on, it’s always been so. Our time is not unique in it's struggle, not really. It’s always been a few against many. The word of God against deafened hearts. And ever it has been the few that hear and come. The tale of a life spent for God doesn’t have to be one of huge grandeur or scope, one of thousands coming and lives being turned upside down.

It could be one person who reads a book and begins to question, to search

It could be one person who can finally believe they aren’t alone, that their broken heart can mend.

It could even just be me, learning to know God so I can write Him into my stories and essays and heart. 

When Tolkien began his epic tales, I don’t think he had an idea that they would change the world. He just wanted to build the world he saw in his mind, and to tell it to his boys before bed. I don’t think it was meant to be a monumental work of literature, it was meant to be a story. A  story into which he poured the truth that framed his life. It was vastly important to him, but I doubt he expected it to be so important to the millions of people that have since read his tale of valor and baseness, vying in a death grip for the rule of Middle Earth. 

So was he naive to think it’s so simple? That the good actions of a tiny hobbit can really matter in the face of the mighty Mount Doom? Or isn’t that what the stories are that God chose to give us in his Word- stories of little people doing big things through and for Him?

So today, as yet another headline shoots us in the face, as the political clamor ceaselessly cudgels our ears, as your own heart begins to sink a little and doubt, like mine has-

Stop staring evil in the face and look up, away, to goodness. To the goodness for which our souls really do long. If you don’t have the answers, look to that truth. If you don’t have love, look to Christ on the cross. Why is it so hard to realize that our problem isn’t the evil we see, it’s the way we are looking at it? We see through a glass, and all that. We have to learn to stop trusting our own eyes so very much and to trust His, to do every little thing we can. The was my mind works is to see things in webs, so to speak- all the horrible things connecting and connecting until I get completely overwhelmed and apathetic, as though nothing can be done. But the good things do that too! They connect and grow and build on themselves. No-one is an island, and everything we do for good or ill can directly change the world.  Just as Samwise says, the good is there and it is worth fighting for.

I’m writing to myself, you know. I know all this in my head (clearly, since I’ve written it). But do I believe it? In other words, am I acting on it? Not really so much. But I want to. And I hope you do too. 

'For God has not given us a spirit of fear; 

but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.' 

2 Timothy 1:7

// as Christ loves the Church //

// The knowledge that Christ loves us, longs after us, in the highest, purest and most complete of ways, should be a comfort to any lonely soul. His is not a love tainted with carnal desire and feelings, as even the best of earthly loves must inevitably be. His is the perfection to which ours must point. In His very heart He longs for our souls and wishes for us to be brought into His Bride, enough so that He would humble Himself utterly and then die and rise again. So that He might buy us to Himself. - h.d. //

Have you ever stopped to just consider that?? I wrote it during Church on Sunday, and I have to say that although I knew it already, it really sank in in a new way as I was thinking on it. 

Let's be honest- I think most young women struggle with feelings of loneliness once in a while. Tell me I'm not way out there! We were created that way, after all. It's not wrong to dream and long for a hopeful future! But I myself know that I need to get past letting that consume my thoughts or getting me down. We can't help but think about wanting a husband, a home- we are women, it's just part of us. But(I'm speaking for and to myself here) we can't let it become a discontent, or impure thought process. And it gets that way fast, no? 

But, when you think about the fact that, for real, Jesus really does, in a way have the same desire to win us that a man(hopefully) someday will, and even more. Because He doesn't want just an earthly wife, He wants our souls in His Eternal Bride!!! 

Ephesians 5:25-33

That just helped me when it struck me, because lately I've been(I shall admit it) been feeling a little... lonely. Not because I am lonely, I have my family, my best friend-sister, and other friends and church family. But just a wistful lonesomeness for that someone that I've never met. You know? (It actually bothers me at the same time, because I also can be a bit of a feminist from time to time, and so feeling that way irritates me on two levels...) 

But really allowing the truth that Jesus' love is truly all I need and trying to comprehend it's greatness has helped a lot. So next time I start feeling that way(because, yes, I know it will happen) I'm going to try to remember this. I hope that it can maybe be a little help if you ever feel the same!!!

all images via pinterest

(by the way, did yesterday's video work?? it didn't show in my email browser. Click through and watch it if that is the case for you because it is worth it!! Also happy birthday to L.M. Montgomery!! Ah her short stories- hm, now that I think about it I think I have some left on my kindle that I haven't read...)

//such a little member//

My dad asked me to write a devotional for him to teach at a men's supper tonight, so I thought I'd share it here too...

Passage in James about bridling the tongue

Christians today- the continuous cycle and progression of 'acceptable speech' and how it disintegrates over time.

Genesis- the temptation with words, the excuse of Adam and the immediate problem of sin through speech stemming from the fall.

(Those were the original, basic themes my dad gave me to write on, in my wording)

James 3:1-12
 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. (James is warning those who would become teachers- you have to be even more careful what you say.)

2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. (If a man-the word here is actually specifically male- can control his tongue, he will have the self-control he needs to control the rest of his body and habits.)

3 Behold, we put bits in the horses' mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. (A bit in a horses mouth, although small in comparison to such a large animal, nonetheless has the ability to steer it completely, especially if the horse is well trained and obedient to it's master.)

4 Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. (Again, even though a ship can be extremely vast, it is steered by a helm that is a fraction of it's own size, under the direction of the captain.)

5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!(Just like these seemingly small items, the tongue is small in comparison even to just one human body. But it's effects are huge. It has the power through words to start off matters of importance that are far greater than it's own being. Like a little match can start a wild fire if used carelessly, so too is our tongue.)

6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.(In just the tongue can be contained all the sinfulness known to man. You can talk about sin without doing it, and in this harmful conversation your mind and whole body is defiled. Satan can and does use our human tongue to set in motion his plots, if we aren't being careful to practice and train our words and thoughts in Godly directions.)

7 For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: (Animals can be tamed through mans skill, but-)

8 But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. (Not the tongue. Man alone cannot control that little thing, it seemingly has a mind of it's own!! And it strikes out to others like a snake, poisoning them with our anger, or our sinful ideas, or just our foolishness.)

9 Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. (We often use our tongues to practice out our own hypocrisy and deceit)

10 Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. (Speaking about God as though we are saintly and then cursing and speaking badly of other humans, fellow image bearers of the very God we claim to bless! I know I(Nina) am personally very guilty of this...)

11 Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? (So what does it say when our words are mainly bitter, except maybe on a Sunday at church or to a friend we meet?)

12 Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. (It shows exactly what is in the heart, from whence or words and thoughts spring. Sins of the tongue are the outflowing of sinful heart attitudes, and this is why God is so concerned. He wants us to think about what we are saying because when we do, we will have to evaluate where these words are coming from. He ultimately wants to consider our hearts and where they are in first: relation to him and second: relation to others, which is really just a facet of the first point. How we treat others says worlds about how we really, deep down, view our God.)

Ecclesiastes 10:12-13
The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious;but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself. The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness: and the end of his talk is mischievous madness.

When we are not practicing bridling our tongue, our habits drag us farther and farther along the sinful path. At the beginning our words may just(seem to)be foolishness, but in the end they produce madness if we don't correct them! And not just madness for us, the speaker, personally- it effects many, many others and though it seems incredible, one foolish speaker combined with other foolish speakers, on and on, ultimately effects all people!

 One man's words plant ideas in another mans mind, he in turn proclaims them until many other people are indoctrinated with lies started by one little tongue. As a side note, our tongues are really always bridled. If we don't have them under control, Satan is only too happy to take the reins and use us. Scary.

Think about the very beginning- The serpents false tongue, used by Satan, Eve's lack of discernment, listening to his lie and then spreading the lie to her husband, and finally Adam's disobedience, brought about the downfall of all humanity. And then Adam used his tongue in sin for the first time-

Genisis 3:12- And the man said, The woman who though gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.

He blamed Eve. His words to God were to shift the culpability to another.

Genisis 3:13 And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this though hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.

Eve, too, shifts blame to the serpent, whose deceitful words did in fact start the whole chain. God punishes the serpent, Eve, and then Adam. Note that in the passage (Genesis 3:17) Adam is specifically called out for hearkening to the foolish words of his wife, words of devastating consequence.

And so it began. The cycle of words and their effects. From the fall, words immediately became predominantly sinful, stemming from hearts now affected by sin. We see it in our own lives- how ideas start with some speaker and then eventually become established and looked at as truth. Of course not all ideas spread this way are bad, because obviously not all words are bad. It goes both ways. However, falsehood seems to spread much more easily than truth.

But thankfully, the Word came and dwelt among us, and gives us the power to use our tongues to proclaim him. We can use each of our tongues for good or evil- to show who we really serve. To be honest this is scary. How often are our tongues revealing that our focus is hardly on God at all? Way too often in my life, and I suspect in yours too.

So what are you kindling with your tongue? Is it bridled to God's words or is it steering you way off course? It's a little member, but small things can cause the hugest effects, seemingly far out of proportion to the size of what generated them.

Watch your words. Put that unruly tongue under God's will and get out there with confidence! Knowing that if bad words can start a fire of widespread destruction, God's words spoken by obedient servants can start a whole different kind of fire- the Spirit filled fire of revival and salvation.

(I know that I need work in this area. or should I say further work? I've been working on it for years and I most likely will have to continue working on it for as many more. Anyways I enjoyed writing this and was glad to help my dad, although it made me a little nervous that it would be presented before a group! And it's something I want to try to make a point to re-read and apply. I hope you enjoy it too.)