// burden //

sometimes the weight of humanity
(including my own)
weighs down my little soul
until it practically sickens me.

If my finite self can be so
crushed with the futile tragedy
of the depraved rejectors of their only cure

how on earth or in the heavens above
must Christ have felt
He who knew no sin Himself
who wasn't only a reawakened dust-mote
but the All Encompassing, bound in a body

how must it have felt to have
 all the massive sin of everyone, everywhere
for the entire span of time
on His shoulders?

Perfect holy shoulders,
streaming blood.

How could they not break
under just one breath of sin?
How could he be willing to
walk beside man and his fallenness
let alone bend under it?

If we could comprehend-
Oh, for the grace to ever truly
appreciate and feel it-

we would be a different
people. Our burden would be
a different one, more profound
and yet lighter.

How can we point our noses and
play at church
when God let sin touch
Himself for our disgusting selves?

written January 11 2016
xxx I've been debating over posting this for a long time...  I don't want to sound judgmental, especially towards the end, because believe me, I'm talking to myself. Always talking to myself. Here it is, anyways. xxx

11\10\15

God places within all fallen mankind one urgent question from which all others stem.

"Who am I?"

In our world today, as we have grown farther and farther from the knowledge of who we really are, we see this question literally tearing people apart. As the world spirals ever downward, in an irreversible plummet started when Adam took one bite of the forbidden fruit, our knowledge of God becomes more and more twisted.

 This is due in part to faulty philosophies spread by evil men who wished to do away with God in hopes of doing away with the question of their own souls. But also, I believe, it is because our hearts, while ever retaining the seed of knowledge God has placed in our image-bearing souls (Romans 1:18-26) are yet corrupted farther and farther, like our human bodies. 

Thousands of years of genetic mutations, caused by the curse of sin, have broken down our physical bodies slowly but surely. I would say that, without the quickening of the Spirit, our spiritual beings are being thrust down the same sure path. The only way this can be contended is by the influence of the Great Physician. And how does He work?

 Through the Spirit in His Children living out His Word. Our lives can touch the world and stay the progression of the disease temporarily- but only if we are faithful and living worthy of our calling(Matt. 5:13-16)

(some thoughts I wrote during a paper for a class, but which ultimately had nothing to do with the question I was answering, therefore I'll share them for my post tonight. They are just that, thoughts I've been thinking that I still need to think more about... if you have a difference of opinion on this or thought you'd like to add, I'd love to hear from you.)

//poem by emily dickinson//

//if I can touch one soul for God, I shall not live in vain.//

//art //

 I've just been looking at some art...
(I'm supposed to be cleaning. I can't escape it forever.)

These portraits of Bedouins by John Singer Sargent are just really beautiful to me.










 They are so regal and defiant... and it makes me sad knowing  when these beautiful people died, their souls were probably lost forever.

 John Singer Sargent








"Go you therefore and teach all nations..." Matthew 28:19












And these portraits of Egyptian Woman... I'm not sure if they are both the same lady. She's so proud and mysterious.

John Singer Sargent

                                                                               Philip Alexius de Laszlo

And then this painting I found on Pinterest a long time ago... (I finally just did an image search and discovered the who the artist is. I'm loving his work.)

Anyways, this is one of, if not the, most beautiful portraits I've ever seen... I'm slightly obsessed and I only wish I could paint that well. His eyes, his turban, his expression!

These aren't very ponderous thoughts. Just beautiful paintings.

And a challenge, both personal and to anyone reading- how are you doing with your witnessing? I'm absolutely terrible. Shyness is an easy excuse... but I'm not sure in light of the souls it could be wasting that it's a very good one.

What's your excuse?