Tuesday, January 12, 2016

// doubts //

I wish I could get rid of it.
The vague sense of uneasiness
The tiny whisper inside that
no matter what I'm doing
it's wrong.

I'm wrong.

And when it grows into a persistent murmur 
that everything's wrong
and I have everything backwards
My thoughts go double and start
to spin.

Is what I believe a vapor,
instead of a rock?
Is the world right?
Can my God be trusted?

Is He even there?

Of course these doubts can't stand
but they turn my stomach,
it sinks like the gaze of a guilty criminal
and sometimes it sinks so low
that the windows of my soul
seem dark and streaked with freezing rain
that sometimes turn to burning tears 
on my cheeks.

But this too shall pass.

Rosy sunshine will disperse the dark.
That vague sense of uneasiness 
retreats for the moment.

And my Savior seems so close
and so trustworthy.

Maybe even close to as trustworthy as He is.

And though I can't get rid of it
(that vague sense of my own uneasiness)
Maybe it's not a bad thing.
Maybe these whispers are in there for a reason.

Because if you have no doubts,
you can  walk on water yourself.
But when the doubts begin to drown you,
Jesus puts out His wounded hands
and pulls you into His safety.

Where else should I want to be?

written September 13, 2015


  1. oh my goodness!!
    I love this. Even in the midst of doubts, we can always focus on truth: the truth that if we never doubted things, maybe our faith wasn't genuine and we were just going through the motions and not taking it seriously.

    I love how thought provoking your posts are!
    I am loving your blog and I'm so glad you followed :) I would be so honored if you would check out my blog as well!

    1. thank you so much!!! ultimately doubt must cast us further into Christ. Doubts about ourselves are usually well founded:/ Doubts about Him have to be shattered because they just can't hold water!!
      aw <3 I just followed your blog! It's awesome!! I don't know how I haven't seen it before:) I'm just getting my feet wet here, I've not found my way into the loop quite yet;) thank you again for the encouraging words!


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