Monday, November 30, 2015

// as Christ loves the Church //

// The knowledge that Christ loves us, longs after us, in the highest, purest and most complete of ways, should be a comfort to any lonely soul. His is not a love tainted with carnal desire and feelings, as even the best of earthly loves must inevitably be. His is the perfection to which ours must point. In His very heart He longs for our souls and wishes for us to be brought into His Bride, enough so that He would humble Himself utterly and then die and rise again. So that He might buy us to Himself. - h.d. //

Have you ever stopped to just consider that?? I wrote it during Church on Sunday, and I have to say that although I knew it already, it really sank in in a new way as I was thinking on it. 

Let's be honest- I think most young women struggle with feelings of loneliness once in a while. Tell me I'm not way out there! We were created that way, after all. It's not wrong to dream and long for a hopeful future! But I myself know that I need to get past letting that consume my thoughts or getting me down. We can't help but think about wanting a husband, a home- we are women, it's just part of us. But(I'm speaking for and to myself here) we can't let it become a discontent, or impure thought process. And it gets that way fast, no? 

But, when you think about the fact that, for real, Jesus really does, in a way have the same desire to win us that a man(hopefully) someday will, and even more. Because He doesn't want just an earthly wife, He wants our souls in His Eternal Bride!!! 

That just helped me when it struck me, because lately I've been(I shall admit it) been feeling a little... lonely. Not because I am lonely, I have my family, my best friend-sister, and other friends and church family. But just a wistful lonesomeness for that someone that I've never met. You know? (It actually bothers me at the same time, because I also can be a bit of a feminist from time to time, and so feeling that way irritates me on two levels...) 

But really allowing the truth that Jesus' love is truly all I need and trying to comprehend it's greatness has helped a lot. So next time I start feeling that way(because, yes, I know it will happen) I'm going to try to remember this. I hope that it can maybe be a little help if you ever feel the same!!!

all images via pinterest

(by the way, did yesterday's video work?? it didn't show in my email browser. Click through and watch it if that is the case for you because it is worth it!! Also happy birthday to L.M. Montgomery!! Ah her short stories- hm, now that I think about it I think I have some left on my kindle that I haven't read...)

Sunday, November 29, 2015

// Maya Plisetskaya - Dying Swan 1959 //

//this is just a truly beautiful thing... I don't know what language she is speaking in at the beginning, or anything about her for that matter, but now I want to! And, Saint-Saen's 'The Swan' is one of my favorite pieces of music. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did! //

Saturday, November 28, 2015

// all the world's a stage //

// some people don't like
the idea of being a player (and not director) in a grand performance called Life
but I've always felt the most comfortable on stage //

via google search

Friday, November 27, 2015

// thankful //

I know, I know.

It's the day after Thanksgiving.

Otherwise known as... Black Friday. I once knew why 'Black' Friday, but have forgotten. It doesn't matter. My inherent dislike for it makes it dark enough. The crowds! The people that make up the crowds! The buying. I just have no love for it whatsoever. I went once and once was enough.

But anyways, today, in the shower, I came to a new appreciation for the thing for which I'm more thankful than any other. Not a thing, but a person. Without whom I wouldn't have all the other things I take way too for granted.

That is Jesus.

Even in my thankfulness I know I take Him far too for granted as well. But as I was thinking in the shower(the best place to think) it struck me how no matter who you are, He sees you exactly for what you are. No pretense, no pretending. He knows everything about you. You don't have to try to keep up appearances, because it's no use, even if sometimes you can convince yourself it is.

Knowing He sees you for exactly who you are is scary. Awe-full actually. But also extremely comforting. Because in the long run, He is the only one who's opinion really matters, and His love was enough for him to die for me. And it's enough to keep me. And grow me in Him.

So even if sometimes trying to live so that others are happy with you (or at least not too weirded out;) can get a little weary-and I know we all do it- take peace from the knowledge that, good or bad, Jesus knows who you really are. And loves you anyways. And the only reason to change is so that you are more like Him.

I don't want this to seem like a lovey, 'be yourself' post, because that's not really what I'm talking about. Or a 'do whatever you want to be authentic' post. Because no to that too.

I mean rest confident in who you are- in Jesus.

I hope this is a good reminder for you. It was for me on a hard day.

Happy (late) Thanksgiving!!!

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

haiku #4

// You be the potter
find my hearts imperfections
and shape them anew //

jeremiah 18:1-8

Monday, November 23, 2015

// haiku #3 //

via pinterest
// a haze surrounds me
a blur of virgin light beams
and then there is you //

xxx photo selected by my sister xxx

Sunday, November 22, 2015

// haiku #2 //

// sun rising in gold
somewhere a bird starts singing
and the dewdrops shine //

via pinterest, credited to andrei tarkovsky

// how to paint the painter... //

I was thinking earlier, on the way to church. I don't remember about what, actually, but somehow it lead to these thoughts...

via pinterest

As a Christian artist (and I don't necessarily just mean visual artist, but artist in general) sometimes I struggle with knowing how exactly to show God in my work. With wondering how much I need to have all my art and music 'sacred'. And the thought struck me-

I can't really paint a picture of God. I have to try to convey his attributes somehow and that can be daunting enough. But rather He should be in the paint, in the colors, in every note and tune and word.

 And He will shine through the beauty, probably better than if I always tried to make everything somehow related to a Bible story or something like that. God reveals himself in nature, and beauty, in a totally different way than the Bible obviously, but none the less real.

So while I want to of course make art and music that is specifically 'sacred' or for the church, I think it's important to make things that aren't 'sacred' (although in reality for the Christian there should be no such line) and through them reach the lost in ways you might not be able to otherwise.

 Now I don't mean that we should be making things that are counter the Word of God. You can't be dabbling in music that is sinful or making sketchy(pun not really intended) art. No, no and again no. That is the farthest thing from what I mean. Not that we aren't all guilty of that from time to time. What I mean is excellent beautiful art. Art that still is, at it's deepest, as sacred as a sinful human can attempt.

Anyways there's my random musing of a ramble for tonight It (as usual) is not fully thought through yet, and I need to study it out some more, look at the Bible and so on. I'm so abstract with my thinking that I hardly ever get that far, which is something I need to work on.

 I'm going to post another haiku as well, because I love haiku's and they are really the only kind of poem I feel I can systematically achieve.

I'd love to hear what you think about the article. Do you agree? Disagree? Have something to add since I've probably missed something (I cannot for the life of me write well when listening to any vocal music...) I'll always love to hear anything you have to say!!!

Saturday, November 21, 2015

// haiku #1 //

// early morning light
coffee pot steaming richly
you across from me //

via pinterest

Friday, November 20, 2015


// i think all of human history, in it's entirety(and tininess) has and will be simply to show how inferior all else is to the utter perfection and glory of God . //

xxx what do you think? xxx

Thursday, November 19, 2015

//jeremiah 8:8-9//

'how do ye say, We are wise... the wise men are ashamed, they are dismayed and taken: lo, they have rejected the word of the LORD; and what wisdom in in them?' jeremiah 8:8-9

// been reading through Jeremiah for my class... I've never read it before, but I'm glad I have to, because it has some incredible verses, and a story of a man who bore way more than I can imagine to faithfully declare the word of the Lord. This verse is one that really stood out, for it is so applicable in our age, or any age... the 'wise' have rejected Wisdom- without the truth, they have nothing.//

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

// the color red //

via pinterest
//crimson, scarlet, ruby, carmine, vermilion, cinnabar, poppy, brick, carnelian, russet, sanguine, red//

Monday, November 16, 2015

// some words i like //

  1. e·voc·a·tive
    bringing strong images, memories, or feelings to mind.
    "powerfully evocative lyrics"
    synonyms: reminiscent, suggestive, redolent

    via google

past tense: illuminated; past participle: illuminated
light up.
"a flash of lightning illuminated the house"
synonyms: light (up), lighten, throw light on, brighten, shine on, irradiate; More
decorate (a page or initial letter in a manuscript) with gold, silver, or colored designs.
synonyms:decorate, illustrate, embellish, adorn, ornament
"the manuscripts were illuminated"

showing luminous colors that seem to change when seen from different angles.
synonyms: opalescent, nacreous 
found via google

the study of the fundamental nature of knowledge, reality, and existence, especially when considered as an academic discipline.

a particular system of philosophical thought.
plural noun: philosophies

the study of the theoretical basis of a particular branch of knowledge or experience.
"the philosophy of science"
synonyms: thinking, thought, reasoning
"the philosophy of Aristotle"

'the thinker', rodin- via google

the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil.
"God's plans for the redemption of his world"

synonyms:saving, freeing from sin, absolution
"God's redemption of his people"
the action of regaining or gaining possession of something in exchange for payment, or clearing a debt.
synonyms:retrieval, recovery, reclamation, repossession, return 

Sunday, November 15, 2015


// change sounds good from far away,
when you're sitting safely, looking on,
but when life upends in just one day
you wish to return to what is gone. //

via Pinterest

Saturday, November 14, 2015


via Pinterest

//sometimes you have to sweep up dead flowers so the floor is clean again.
even the best and most beautiful things sometimes must have their end.//

Friday, November 13, 2015

God is Everything (or, random musings on Friday night)

I've been taking an OT messages class through BJU online this semester. I've been really enjoying it and there is a lot I could share, but tonight I just have one thought that has stood out while we are studying the prophetic books. And that is

God is Everything.

And I don't just mean He is everything to me, or everything I need. He is all that, but even though that tiny part of Him seems so huge to us, from our view point, it is nothing compared to the fact that

 He really is Everything.

He is in every atom, every quark(I learned about those in Sunday School, incidentally. They are smaller than atoms!), He literally makes up the building blocks of the most elementary of matter. And not just on the Earth we know but throughout the entire unfathomable Universe!! Everything is in and by Him. It's completely unbelievable- and yet the only believable option for creation. I once heard that scientists have come to realize that in the most 'basic' parts of what comprises atoms, there is an amount of power completely out of proportion to the size of the parts. I forget what the ratio was but it was amazing. I think it was in a film called "God of Wonders' but I'm sure that if you looked it up you could find out more.

Not only is Everything comprised by Him, Everything is contained in Him. Here I want to be careful, because I've only just been thinking about this part and haven't studied it yet, but this was my thought of the night. God contains everything- even Evil. That kind of threw me off for a second but if you think about it it works. A bowl can completely contain water- but it isn't water. And the water(unless it's a odd kind of bowl I guess) can't change a thing about the bowl, or do anything outside of the bowl. The metaphor can kind of break down, the water could spill or something like that, but you get the basic picture(I have a bad habit of way stretching and overthinking metaphors). So even though God is Good, and in Him is no darkness at all, He still completely contains and controls the Evil. Darkness is just the absence of light; light dies and darkness comes, but light can't really die to dark, the dark is subject to the rising of the light.

I'm really just musing here, and I don't know if this makes sense, but I was thinking about it and decided to just write it down and throw it out there. And it's nothing too original either, but when something becomes bigger to you personally it seems new. I was also just reading the first chapter of 'The Attributes of God' by A.W. Tozer, and it was talking about His Infinitude, and I think that started my wheels spinning too. (Tozer is an awesome author by the way, I've read 'The Pursuit of God' and now I'm going to read 'The Attributes', and I just have loved everything I've read of his so far. He definitely ranks alongside C.S. Lewis, for me.)

Another thing I was thinking about is how sometimes people say God contradicts Himself, or seems to change. In a God who is Everything, contradictions just don't work. He can be both Mercy and Justice without clashing, because He is God. It's absolutely mind blowing and really makes a lot of things seems a bit small. I think I'm going to go to bed, because it's stretching my brain!! I hope you enjoy just a random bit of rambling...

Also, keep the people of Paris in your prayers, in case you aren't already. What a frightening time for them... but, Everything is under control. Even if to us it doesn't look it. but that makes the situation none the less sad, I feel so for the families who have lost loved ones, and I can't even imagine how terrifying it must be to be held hostage... I hope- I know- God will use this for His purpose somehow, though.
Good night!

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

//Psalm 55:6//

via Pinterest

'And I said, O that I had the wings of a dove, for then I would fly away, and be at rest'
Psalm 55:6 KJV

Tuesday, November 10, 2015


God places within all fallen mankind one urgent question from which all others stem.

"Who am I?"

In our world today, as we have grown farther and farther from the knowledge of who we really are, we see this question literally tearing people apart. As the world spirals ever downward, in an irreversible plummet started when Adam took one bite of the forbidden fruit, our knowledge of God becomes more and more twisted.

 This is due in part to faulty philosophies spread by evil men who wished to do away with God in hopes of doing away with the question of their own souls. But also, I believe, it is because our hearts, while ever retaining the seed of knowledge God has placed in our image-bearing souls (Romans 1:18-26) are yet corrupted farther and farther, like our human bodies. 

Thousands of years of genetic mutations, caused by the curse of sin, have broken down our physical bodies slowly but surely. I would say that, without the quickening of the Spirit, our spiritual beings are being thrust down the same sure path. The only way this can be contended is by the influence of the Great Physician. And how does He work?

 Through the Spirit in His Children living out His Word. Our lives can touch the world and stay the progression of the disease temporarily- but only if we are faithful and living worthy of our calling(Matt. 5:13-16)

(some thoughts I wrote during a paper for a class, but which ultimately had nothing to do with the question I was answering, therefore I'll share them for my post tonight. They are just that, thoughts I've been thinking that I still need to think more about... if you have a difference of opinion on this or thought you'd like to add, I'd love to hear from you.)

Monday, November 9, 2015

Salvation is Incredible

Sometimes by the Grace of God, I am able to step back & realize-
Salvation is Incredible.

Through Christ, my sins are taken away-
Salvation is Incredible.

I am given the ability to live for God-
Salvation is Incredible

I am given the ability to share Him with the world-
Salvation is Incredible

Anyone who will believe in Christ alone can be saved-
Salvation is Incredible

God is willing to adopt the rebels of His World-
Salvation is Incredible

God is willing to accept ME-
Salvation is Incredible.

Salvation is Incredible.

Salvation is Incredible...

Sunday, November 8, 2015

the stargazer

I've seen many many things in my time. Too many to list, too many for me to remember. Some very beautiful, some very horrible... some a little bit of both. And although each touches me to silent tears in its time, most I forget. But once in a while, a story comes along that I love so much that I will remember it always. This story is one such. It's about a little boy who used to be in love...with me.

I still remember the first night he came padding out across the lawn, his blanket wrapped around his shoulders in just the style of many and many a king I've seen before. But this little lad was no king. I later learned he came outside that summer night because the stars on his ceiling had died. So he came looking for some new ones. Silly child. As if the ones up here are new. Even the babies to me are ancient to a little one like him. But he forgot about his search for new stars the moment he looked up.

I watched his eyes widen, drinking in every pinpoint of light he could see. Then his eyes rested on me. His mouth formed an 'O' as his head tilted back until he nearly tipped over. He remained that way for some time, his eyes roving back and forth like a ship on the sea. The glory of the heavens sank into the pool of his eyes... and although many people come to look at our beauty, not many have the dazzle remain. He did. The stars became his mind that night, and the new galaxy created has, true to form, remained expanding ever since.

That was only the beginning of this little love affair. From that night, he came often to gaze into the sky. I watched him grow, far to fast for my liking, after the manner of you earthlings. I was disappointed on cloudy nights when I couldn't see him. On some nights, when my light was dim, I could still-though barely- see him, hands in his pockets, always looking up. It wasn't long before a shiny pair of glasses perched on his nose, and soon I couldn't remember him without them.

 Eventually, he began bringing books and notebooks and charts, and I knew he was learning the ways of the stars and planets and I.  He would sit, far into the night, reading and writing things down. But almost always before he went indoors, he would stretch full length on his back and just stare. In some it would have seemed over bold(I do have feelings, you know) but not with him. Oh, no, not with him. His look was like that of a child in it's innocence and a sage in it's depth. He was a rare one, that boy. I've not seen many like him, even in all my thousands of years and millions of nights. He grew tall before I knew it, and handsome too, I thought. His face had traces left on it from stardust.

 One night, when I reached his yard, I missed him. I couldn't fathom why. It was a beautiful night, clear and warm, and I had counted on seeing him. I even had saved a few shooting stars for him. I worried along my track, looking for him. I hardly saw anyone else. I almost went past him, but just as I was gliding over a college campus, I spotted him. He was walking along, carrying luggage and looking very lost. Just then, he looked up at me. I saw his face relax, forgetting his worries as he looked up at his love. A star blew him a kiss, shameless little thing. After a moment, he sighed and went into the dorm building. But he stood a little straighter than he had before.

After this, I saw him much less than I wished. Sometimes, I'd see him sitting outside and studying. At these times I felt bad distracting him, but it did make me sad watching him force himself to focus on his more mundane tasks. Finally one evening he came out, excitement in every inch of his frame. In his hands he carried a dream he'd long had- a shining telescope. Some classmates were with him. I felt jealous, I was used to having him all to myself. They all stared up, but the stars didn't land in their souls the way they had in his. My beautiful little starstruck darling.

 I often wished I could see him in the day. The sun hogs most people, he does. Great burning glutton. He gets to see everyone living and living, and I only see bits of their love, their loss and their rest. Excepting, of course, the rare ones. Like Him. With them, I get to see their souls, and I don't think the sun has ever been discerning enough for that. Souls can be much like stars. You only really see their true light when the darkness falls around them.

I suppose, after all, it was only fitting that it was under a blanket of stars that this story ends. Or perhaps, begins. I lost his heart. Here is how it happened.

I was moving along, reveling anew in the lovely way my diamond studded train spread around me. I was feeling luxurious that evening. The air was warm and balmy, and smelled like a love song. I also felt fluttery, for I knew I was almost there. His look had gotten much more knowing lately. I no longer felt I was hidden in my gown of secrets. He was starting to know my workings as well as I knew his. It's the downfall of being so much closer to the earth than the stars are. People know more about you. They think they know everything about you, but they don't really. They don't really at all.

Finally I reached it- the sprawling campus of yellow brick. There may be larger colleges on the earth(there are, I've seen them all) but something about this one has always pleased me. So pretty and with a decided smile, even at night. Even when everyone is sleeping, it is at peace and yet alive. That night, everyone was outside, it seemed. Music mixed with the twilight as I rose over them. It took me a long moment to find him. Only a few stars were out yet, and I beckoned them to move faster. I felt like being dazzling tonight. The air was just such that all I needed to complete my evening was a dazzled pair of eyes admiring me. I'm vain, I know. Wouldn't you be, if you were me? I'm beautiful, for one, and I've grown far too fond of all the lovers I've had. In the end, though they always leave me. What bothers me most is when they blame me. As if I made them fall for someone else- I don't. I'm too jealous for that. I do give them my blessing though, when they are true.

I watched him, eagerly waiting for him to look up. His nose was buried in a book, and he appeared to be oblivious to the crowd around him. Look up, look up-

And he did. But his eyes never made it up to me. And yet he looked just as dazzled as any night I ever had met his eyes. And I knew that I'd lost another. Even a man who had loved the night sky more than anything else had not a chance against the one thing more magical than us-


The star-shine we'd given him was alight, a cosmos brought alive, not by itself(for what can give itself life?) but by a force stronger than the power of a galaxy. Stronger- no. Maybe not. The same strength, in fact. But in a human heart it fits a little better. We, too are part of that same, conquering depth- but sadly outside, at the same time. We're a sentence in a love letter... but a love letter can never suffice in the place of Love itself. But our revelation is no less evident, and certainly not in vain for all that. I think my little stargazer would be able to explain it even better than I, for he is a human, and you alone out of all creation have been chosen to be allowed to really know Love.

perhaps the closest I can say it is this- we are here to show you a Love bigger than even our vastness. But all your looking, and all our shining, cannot give you this Love. It is a Love you must choose, a love you must be given. We almost touched it on the one night more glorious than any other, but still we were only the heralds. The message I'm trying to speak of is one that cannot be uttered in my language. So you will have to find it for yourself.

I watched. Watched as a new stars were born in his galactic mind. Remarkably bright stars. He stood up, and greeted this girl. A lovely thing, it's true. And I thought when I saw her, that perhaps I remembered her too. She certainly had traces of night woven in her hair, and when I caught sight of her eyes I knew it for sure. Two little stargazers, finally brought together. She sat down next to him, and he brought out one of his books. And as they sat there, together, the book open across their laps, he began to tell her our ways, just as he had learned them. And as the last of the stars came out, they looked up.



Just a little short story I wrote this afternoon... it's for a collection my sister and I have begun, titled 'Duets'. We hope to include poems and artwork, as well as short stories. We may even enlarge it to a collective endeavor, we'll see. You'll certainly hear more about it in the future.

I was inspired (in part) for this story by a couple of Erin Hanson's poems(she is a wonderful writer, Ryn and I both thoroughly enjoy her work.)

 all rights- Erin Hanson @
My other inspirations- my sister Ryn, her overly romantic view of life in general and the stars in particular, and of course,  the Star-kindler- The One True God.