// thoughts on heaven //

via pinterest 

Today I realized what heaven sounds like for me.
The thought of which made me close my eyes and smile to the sunlight.
I think that heaven will be the end of the questions.
the end of the always '?'
It will be an enveloping, warm, sea of light
and as I drown in it, that will be the discovery of true life.

Then I thought 'for a philosopher(if I even am one. although aren't we all.)wouldn't an end of all questions be like a sort of anti-climax?'

But no, the joy in the questions IS the ever-closing nearness to The Answer. Every new truth is a step in the journey to The Truth.

And when suddenly in a flash the last and darkest question is answered with a sudden influx of beyond light pouring and filling and over-filling until I am not, because I Am is, and beauty unimaginable satisfies that for which my heart has ever longed,

When I know all and nothing, and it doesn't matter because the knowing is nothing next to The Known and what I do know is counted lost and what I don't, gain-

When I can know at last that really, my questions and their answers are so very, very small and that He, Knowledge Himself, is so vast that my worries were laughable and cry-able-

That will be my heaven. that is the land for which I look. Perhaps it isn't so- perhaps Heaven is the finding that question is joy instead of pressure. I think dividing over 'what Heaven will be like' would be very foolish, for anything we wish or think or hope it will be, compared to The Reality, is such an unable comparison that there is nothing to compare the comparison with.

And even as I finish I am struck with a dark bell knoll in the midst of these thoughts.
For if heaven is the Answer to all questions of those who questioned aright,
Then hell will be an eternal gnawing question,
A 'what if'-
That sickening teeter-totter of doubt that burns(yes, burns. fire doesn't need to be literal to consume) your insides,
To those who questioned only themselves and held themselves as answer.

Even so, come quickly Lord.
But let us not sleep until then.
Amen.

  I don't know if I have conveyed the beauty of this thought, the way it feels to me, but let me tell you if I could it is the most wondrous of thoughts.