Saturday, February 13, 2016

// the truth about love //

alright, we've had a lovely time with roses, lace and love songs. (at least that was the idea. also sorry i failed on song+story). it's nice to focus on love, even romantic love, and to let yourself sigh over the day that might come.

but, days that might come, and a true love that lives in them, aren't the thing to focus on. valentines day is a beautiful holiday for lovers and the loved- but what about those who don't know love? who aren't in any relationship on this day of chocolate and red hearts?

what of those who don't know what the truth about love even is?

valentines day has a high suicide rate, at the beginning a climb in statistics that carries over into the spring/summer. the rush and glow of the holidays wears off, and sad people who were distracted for a moment feel loneliness rushing in again. as spring approaches, they feel things should be getting better, but it often isn't. and the coming of a day to celebrate love, especially romantic love, is enough for many people to drive them to the edge.

{ for those who are sad, happiness isn't happiness. it's easy to think you should try to comfort someone with cheerful words and distractions. for some it helps. but often, to a truly depressed or unhappy individual, happiness can feel like a sham. it doesn't help, but instead stings them like vinegar in a wound. }

in today's world(and i think ever since the fall) culture is obsessed with what it thinks is 'love'. love has become defined as sex, and your inherent value reduced to your appeal thereunto. its not just a problem of today, although modern technology and media have probably taken it to a whole new kind of level. its been a problem since the first bite into the forbidden. in the early passages of genesis we read of the sons of god(debate exists over who/what they were. it doesn't matter for this point, but its an interesting study) and their somehow illicit relationship with the daughters of men.

 from this point on, both the bible and human history is laced with a constant edge of this problem. it ebbs socially, it wanes socially. but the problem is not one of culture- it is one of the human heart. we far too easily blame 'culture' as if it was its own entity. 'culture' exists because individuals make it the norm. of course, this isn't to say that culture doesn't effect our thinking as we live within it, it does. but this is the effect of people on people, of right vs. wrong. not victimization. we are all responsible for our own actions, and our philosophy behind them.

we can sometimes tend as christians to very harshly judge our world and their fallen shortcomings, for some reason expecting they should live to a standard not given to them. but given to us. their standard is nothing. the fact that they have any moral compass whatsoever is only a testimony to God and His goodness, not a reflection of some goodness in human nature. and we so easily forget(i'm not sure how, since often our hearts speak it louder than even our lips can denounce it) that 'of such were some of us.' and 'but for the grace of God- there am i.'

God's word is given for his people to live and judge themselves by. within reason, one another. but i think we can err when we use it too much to try to influence and judge the world. our lives and presence are(or should be) the conviction and testimony that they need. i don't remember where i read(well i think it was pinterest, but i don't remember the author) that as christians our hands should be extended in love, not pointed in accusation. don't you think that a life truly lived to God is more of a stab in the heart than our harshest judgement could be? (see 1 Cor. 6, and 1 Cor. in general.) we are ambassadors, and when we must condemn we must. but our first task is to try to reconcile and draw others.

now, this is not to say that judging sin is wrong, judging as in calling it for what it is. sin is sin. no ifs ands and buts. its so hard, nearly impossible as humans, to wrap our minds around it, because to our eyes everything is on such a graph, a scale of good to bad. but to God, who is goodness himself, anything less, anything fallen, is bad. to us, we can see someone as worse than us- but there is surely someone we can see as better. not so for God. any goodness he can see in us is only his own grace by the sacrifice of himself in the person of His son.

which brings us back around to love.

its such an overused word. even when it's not stated as a word, it's a sentiment that has been watered down to nothing.

i love you.

how little those words can really mean. and yet how much. sometimes those who mean it most don't even say them at all.

but when you are separated from God, there is no way to really know what love means. this is something hard for me to accept and understand. i see people who are unsaved and yet they are loving. to their children, spouses, friends. and yet the truest love, God's love- this can only biblically be found in Christ.

 'herein is love- that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.' 

this is real love. this is, when it comes down to it, the only love that really, eternally, matters. because until we accept Christ's love despite ourselves, nothing else will last. and if something is nothing in the end, than what was it to begin with? this is the love that changed my life, that will continue to, in spite of me, because of Him. it's painful, but growing is. but how can we be selfish enough to keep it to ourselves? we share the judgement but not the salvation. yes, people need to know just how filthy they really are. but you don't just point out their dirt, you have to hand them the one thing that can clean them. only Christ can save, with or without us. but wouldn't we rather be used by Him in this work than have to be worked around and through?

i admit that i'm the last person who should talk. i mentioned on new years what a struggle it was just for me to hand out a tract. (i still stew over that, wondering if i should do more, or shouldn't have done it. knowledge of what is right just doesn't help sometimes.) i'm often nervous to just go through a checkout line. but in the face of my own selfishness, does the need to love dim? it can't. i can't let it.

when it comes to the end, the point is this-

the truth about love is that it's only as valuable as how much it's shared. Christ's love is infinite and it extends beyond the reach of time. we have to share it. love is what can save lives. all those people who will take their own lives tomorrow because they don't feel loved- if they only knew their true worth, of the so much better love that is theirs alone and everyone in the worlds at once.

we have that love in our hands. giving it away only increases it.

valentine's day is beautiful, and yet it also is an ugly curse. its best celebrates a gift, that on even the basest of levels is still a thing of pleasure given. and yet it also shows us the awful truth of what our lives can really be. without love, without God- so very empty.

but with it- it can be so full.

i'm sorry to be so dark. but we can't look away from the truth. i'm talking to myself more than anyone else. but i think it's something we all can always use a reminder of, no matter what.

i do hope you have a good valentines day and sunday. rejoice in your knowledge of what love is- and then share it. and i'd like to hear your thoughts on the article- do you agree? disagree? i want to hear opinions... a lot of these things that i write are me trying to figure them out. throwing them out for my own consideration and yours. so thanks if you read my rants, and sorry if you don't:) a year from now i may read this and have  differences with it. but you have to lay things out to sort them. anyways.

{if you're reading this and you don't know this love, please ask me. or if you are struggling somehow- please know there are people who love you, no matter how it feels. and there is God. }


  1. although I'm not a christian, I really must say that this was beautiful to read. your tone is honest, but not bitter; it's curious, perceptive, and well thought out. it's obvious that you spent quite a while on this. well done!


    1. thank you! i'm glad to hear that, and it means a lot.


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