//18//

what to say... it's late at night and the hours of my birthday are slowing dying away.

being 18(or 17, probably 19, maybe any age) feels, to me, most like standing on one of those suspension bridges they have in the mountains... long, unsteady. You have to trust it, trust the Rock in which it is placed. And yet... always and yet... 

You're standing here, mist obscuring either end of the bridge and the precipice below. The feeling is less fear than frozenness. You could step forward and find yourself at the end of the bridge. Or there could be a great distance still to go. And anyways, when you do get off this hanging, swaying connection, in all likelihood you'll still have a mountain to climb.

and it's crazy scary, exhausting and sometimes you almost wish the whole bridge would just go crashing down so you wouldn't even have to think about what to do next. 

but you don't really wish that because let's be honest. being on a rickety suspension bridge in the middle of a wild mountain might be terrifying...

but it's pretty exciting too.

here's to a year chasing God and letting His plan be revealed when He decides to clear the mist. 

as far as looking back, this has been such an uneventful year for me in one sense, yet I feel I've grown so much and God has been working on me. I'm so hopeful for what could happen this year.

I mean I've already eaten a bagel, the best sandwich ever, wandered around downtown with Ryn, Mom and Dad, gone to a concert and gotten a new Macbook among other awesome gifts.  Not to mention so many wishes from people, which made me feel special :3 So far it's looking good. Too bad next week is stressful and busy. But hey-

At least I have more bagels;)

(also this is my 100th post, what should I do to celebrate?  I'm open to anything and everything for ideas, you guys are all awesome.)

and now I'm actually going to bed since I already started to once and remebered I needed to do this. ha ha. this is probably a really rambly non cohesive post.